Game of Thrones S0. E0. 3 "Oathbreaker" Review. Game of Thrones S0. E0. 3: "Oathbreaker"Call me old fashioned, but I like to watch television shows where I don't already know what is going to happen. And finally, after three episodes of Season 6, it looks like we've hit that with the previously uber- spoiled Game of Thrones. And you know what?

IT WAS EXHILARATING! Jon Snow is alive! The R + L = J theory is practically confirmed! Now we're headed into uncharted territory, and all of a sudden all these lippy over- analyzers who pollute the internet with theories and guesswork are nearly back on even ground with us, and we can all sit back and enjoy the show together. Well, until Hodor the horse is confirmed, that is. "Oathbreaker" was propulsive, dove into the unknown, and was flat- out entertaining even if it lacked the bloody action, unnecessary gore, shapely boobies, and horrifying reaction shots of previous episodes. And there was a major fart joke! Was it the best episode of the season? MAYBE! I will not spoil my Power Rankings at the end of the story in the second paragraph.

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Let's just say I didn't get my mother a Mother's Day present, and I feel pretty good about her getting her fill from this episode. Sorry mom, a Sears gift card is in the mail.) Now let's all stop reading this awesome subreddit and talk about what happened in "Oathbreaker.""HMMMMMBLERRFFFFF" – Sam. Hey, did you remember that Samwell Tarly was still on this show? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't after repressing all knowledge of his existence from witnessing his shuddering sex face when he finally sheathed his sword in Gilly way back when.

YICK! But he was indeed here, so let's get him out of the way first. Hey Sam, how's it going? Always a picture of courage and manliness, that Sam! He and Gilly were on a boat, and if you asked Gilly, she thought they were cruisin' to the Citadel so Sam could become a maester because that's what he told her. But nope! Sam lied to her face. They were actually going to Horn Hill, Sam's hometown, to get help from his family.

It's an interesting and desperate choice on Sam's part (and eerily similar to the plot of The Detour), because Sam hates his no- good dad, the same guy who sent him to the Night's Watch in the first place because he was sick of him. Who knows what he has planned for Gilly, but Sam has been nothing but devoted to making sure Gilly was "safe" and within his eyesight, just like any 2. And Gilly was appreciative, even going so far as to say that Sam was the father of her son.

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Either Gilly has the order of her sexing wrong (remember, her dad Craster is the father/grandfather of lil' Sam), or she's applied a liberal definition of the word "father" to Sam since he's the one actually taking care of them. It was a sweet moment for Sam and Gilly, because they always have these sweet moments. And you bet your butt I'm sick of them. Watch I Travel Alone Tube Free here. Sam and Gilly are my 4,8.

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Game of Thrones. They are the Dorne of people. "Your father was a cunt." – Smalljon Umber. With his dad "poisoned by his enemies," and his dad's wife and son "off on a farm where they'll be much happier," Ramsay was in charge of the growing Bolton empire and ready to enact his silly plan of taking over the North with just a majority of manpower in the area. One of the bosses of House Umber, a real potty- mouthed fella named Smalljon, was having a chat with Ramsay about how lame Roose Bolton was, and I'd like to buy this guy a drink because he's the best. Not only did he drop an F- bomb every other word, but when Ramsay told Smalljon to swear loyalty to him, Smalljon said (paraphrasing), "Oh, like your f***ing dead dad f***ing swore loyalty to f****ing Robb f***ing Stark before the Red f***ing Wedding?" It was the sickest of burns and a great f***ing point. You simply cannot trust a Bolton so far as you can throw 'em.  But Smalljon did have a problem that needed to be dealt with.

Since Jon Snow let a bunch of wildlings south of the Wall, they've been pests and Smalljon wanted Ramsay's support in getting rid of them. So while he refused to swear loyalty to Ramsay, he did offer Ramsay a few tokens of appreciations: Osha the wildling and a tween- aged version of Rickon Stark! If you were like me and wondering what those two had been up to since we last saw them in Season 3, when they were seeking refuge with the Umbers, it was getting hosed by the Umbers. And as proof that it was Rickon Stark, Smalljon chucked the decapitated head of Shaggydog onto a table. If you're keeping score at home, that's three direwolves—Sansa's Lady, Robb's Greywind, and now Rickon's Shaggydog—who have been killed on this show. Game of Thrones is like watching one of those horrifying, shamelessly emotionally manipulative ASPCA commercials except there's no phone number to call to keep Summer and Nymeria from getting mange. Poor doggy!"Welcome home, Lord Stark," Ramsay said to Rickon, the pleasantry dripping with cruel sarcasm as only Ramsay could say it. Is the death clock on Rickon now?

Or will Ramsay use Rickon as bait for Sansa or to rally more supporters to his cause? Rickon's no longer the best off Stark. That honor now goes to Jon, and he was dead just a little while ago. Also, is an heir to the Stark throne a worthy trade to help get rid of a few wildling hobos? C'mon, Smalljon, you could have asked for more than that. Next: What's that smell?, and MONTAGE!